Understanding. | A Weekly Word 2022

Understanding is at the core of our healing. Having a better understanding of ourselves – our feelings, our personality, and our triggers – allows us to change unhealthy behaviors. It also increases our capacity for self-compassion, moving us to extend loving grace toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. And to quiet negative self-criticism in the times when we most need to be met with tenderness and care.

A clearer perception of ourselves also plays an important role in influencing our judgments of, and interactions with, those around us. Self awareness allows us to extend grace and compassion to others because we were first able to practice it in our relationship with self. 

The experience of getting to know ourselves is an investment of our time, energy, and emotional capital. And exercises like journaling, mindfulness, and working with a therapist require that we first adopt a posture of openness and discovery in order to maximize on the investment. Consider the following practices as you prepare to, or continue to, invest in our self-discovery journey.

Release preconceived notions. Our assumptions and negative narratives hinder our ability to get to know ourselves and others better. Rather than being so certain about what we won’t or don’t like, we should make every effort to begin with a clean slate. 

Commit to being fully present. Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, unplugging from distractions, and “parking” our thoughts or worries on a notepad help us to free up the mental and bandwidth required to do the work.

Practice mindful listening. Clearing our minds of mental clutter and fully focusing on the moment help us to become a better listener. Taking intentional pauses to process and practicing reflecting back what we’ve heard are also great techniques for gaining understanding from others or even when we are “hearing from” ourselves while journaling or working with a therapist.

Ask good questions. Practice asking questions that begin with how or what over why. Why questions, while they have their place, can cause us to speculate or look backwards, questioning ourselves and sometimes leading to confusion. These are best explored under guidance. How and what questions, however, tend to cause us to look forward and drive us toward solutions. 

Watch out for projection. Psychological projection is when we unconsciously attribute the way we ourselves are thinking and feeling to others. It is also possible to project other people’s thoughts and feelings onto ourselves, this is called introjection. Introjection occurs when a person internalizes an idea or voice of another person – often an authority figure, like a parent.

Passage

A foolish person takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing their own opinion.

Proverbs 18:2

Prayer

God, thank you for encouraging us to seek to understand one another. Thank you for modeling understanding through Christ. Thank you, Lord, for teaching us to treat ourselves and others with compassion. Help me to not be foolish in your sight. Help me to understand myself better, first, through your Word. Help me to then extend that understanding to others. And allow me to be open, gracious, and considerate. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Practice

This week, I will take one actionable step toward better understanding myself. I will commit to showing myself grace and compassion in the behaviors and areas that I am still working toward improving.